As we’ve mentioned before, the foundation of resistance tends to be fear: fear of the unknown; fear of the challenges to be overcome; fear of emotional upheaval or emotional pain. Similarly, resistance to success often stems from a fear of failure; the fear that you may not be able to reach the goals you set yourself; that others may perceive you as a “loser,” or that you may even perceive yourself that way.
Studies have shown that while the fear of failure does seem to be connected to the fear of success, the opposite does not seem to be true; that is, the drive for success does not seem to be causally connected to the fear of failure, despite the seemingly logical connection we might perceive. In other words, while the fear of failure will not be a driving force toward success, the possibility of failing may inhibit many from even trying to succeed.
What is your definition of success?
As with anything, defining the problem is the beginning of finding a solution. There are as many definitions of success as there are human beings. Are you hoping to become rich? Would you like to have a rewarding relationship or loving family? Setting goals and determining a path to reach them will go a long way toward overcoming the fear that you may not succeed in achieving them.
What is your definition of failure?
Failure comes in degrees. If your goal is to become the CEO of your company, yet you only reach CFO, have you really failed, or have you merely reached a slightly more modest level of success? Is a loving relationship between two adults with an adopted child any less a family than a couple who gives birth to a biological child? Is a modest level of success really a failure, or is it merely a different level of success?
The good news is that both fear of failure and fear of success respond well to therapeutic treatment. For example, if the conflict between the two is due to a perceived lack of control over your situation, therapy can be used to help you understand your need to control, as well as offering exercises to help you overcome your indecision and promote independent decision making.
Remember this, “That which you resist will forever exist.”
If you believe you need help with overcoming your fear of failure or resistance to success, get in touch with me today.
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