The Importance Of Self-Love

One of the things I mention in my book, Just Give Your Head a Shake, is to “Always remember to love yourself; that way you can show and give love to others.”

The premise of this statement is that you have to first love yourself before you can love another. Going a bit deeper, it also means that no one can give you the love that has been missing in your life. Others can teach us how to love and show us by example, but it’s up to us to harvest it.

This can be a painful process because so many of us badly want another person to heal us from our pain and show us that we are loveable. The truth is that we won’t accept that which we are unwilling to give to ourselves first. This means if you don’t love yourself first, you aren’t open to the best that life has to offer.

Essentially, we teach other people how to treat us. If we allow others to disrespect us or treat us badly, we are disrespecting ourselves.  When we have a healthy self-respect it sends out a message to others that they too must respect us—and that is what we receive. The same is true with love. It’s important to first cultivate love for yourself. That way, this gift can be given and received abundantly.


  1. This is so important and something I’ve learned to do only recently. One really can’t receive abundant love until one loves oneself first. And it feels so good at that!

  2. You’re absolutely right on the mark with that comment. It’s learning to love oneself that may be the difficult part. If you don’t have love inside you, for yourself, then how can you give it away to others? What are you giving away?? Self love is the most unselfish attributeyou can cultivate for yourself and all others.

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