When you are in love, a profound change occurs inside you. And it is not just the chemical reaction and strong feelings, but a change in how you think and see the world. It can be a huge transition for a single person who is accustomed to thinking for “me” to start thinking in a “we.” A loving relationship means that it’s not just about you anymore. This can trigger a great amount of joy, yet it can also be a challenge to enter couplehood after being single for a period of time.
A lot of people desperately want a relationship, but are unable to make the transition. It can sound wonderful to have a partner who loves and cherishes you. The reality is that it takes hard work and getting to know each other only skims the surface. Real, long-term love is complex and involves both people who are committed to the process. They are willing to grow into a “we,” and accept the process, even if it doesn’t read like a fairy tale.
If you’re primarily thinking for “me,” these things tend to happen:
- You create expectations and get let down.
- You try to force love to fit your requirements and end up disappointed.
- You have an idea for how your partner should be and they can’t measure up or fit your model.
The fact is if you make a relationship all about “me,” it won’t last. Two people have to be willing to step into unfamiliar territory and take the risk to explore it together. It won’t necessarily be simple or easy, but that is one of the rewards of love! Essentially, it gives us some of the greatest opportunities and also challenges us to grow.
Remember, thinking in a “we” usually doesn’t happen overnight, but if you’re both committed and willing to give it a try, becoming a “we” might be better than any fairy tale you can imagine!
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